The Total Flirt

MTV’s new “The Flirt Game” for Facebook looks more promising than the other Facebook flirt game scams, but even though it’s supposedly targeted at the women’s market I’m not sure if it’s serious – or a game MTV’s marketing department is playing with itself.

Sports and gaming terminology get a little ridiculous when it comes to flirting, dating and sex. I used to think it make me want to barf when it came to men’s magazines like Maxim, where it’s all about scoring, etc. Then I saw how over-used and abused it was in another male arena, one that I also happen to write for: technology.

But at it happens, the more I researched Total Flirt, the more I saw the ‘gaming the system’ (of another human being) in women’s magazines. It kind of started to bug me less – it’s not a very productive way of describing hooking up, and I know we all see through the banter to get the nuggets of info we’re looking for. Meaning, I know we’re smarter than they think we are. And at first look, MTV’s Flirt Game looks like it has some kind of substance.

Still, I think the idea of flirting and making a game – maybe where you can get better at it, or do some social gaming to meet hotties – has a ton of potential. Which is why I explored MTV’s “Flirt Game” for Facebook (a question-and-answer dating game launched in April) with an open mind and a lot of curiosity. It looks like it has promise.

And no – I’m not talking about the other Facebook flirt ‘game’ Flirtable, which appears to have a lot of problems, nor do I mean Bar Flirt which is a spam scam, beware.

Seriously: flirting games on Facebook? You’re better off helping out that Nigerian Prince by giving his cousin your bank account password.

I hoped that with MTV’s Flirt Game someone had finally come up with a fun and useful flirting game.

Turns out, MTV’s Flirt Game is so packed with sports and gaming terms, it’s a bit hard to tell at first what it’s actually about:

“If love is a game, then flirting is the ultimate pre-game warm-up. Get your game face on and up your flirting skills with The Flirt Game – get the free Facebook app here.”

And yes, I know it’s a promo for MTV’s Real World reality shows – which are just wrapping up right now. Apparently cast members have avatars in the game, and answered many of the questions, though I don’t see the appeal of that. Sine the app/game is aimed at straight women, I’m thinking that if, say, cast members of True Blood had answered the questions, then I’d be handing over my social gaming cash. But Real World Las Vegas? Who cares? Anyway…

“Over time, we’ll add more questions and features,” says Sharon Wood, Founder and CEO of Stone Creek Entertainment. “We’re thinking of adding more game elements as well, but as with all social games, we’re most interested in finding out what the players want. Dating in real life is fun, often an adventure and always a mystery — so we have a lot of options. In the long run, we see The Flirt Game becoming a new way to meet and greet potential new friends or sweethearts on Facebook.”

What makes this a game more so than a dating service app with gamification elements is the division between singleplayer and multiplayer. The singleplayer version allows players to answer questions with the role of the second person being filled by a character archetype. Members of MTV’s Real World program also appear as characters in singleplayer and Wood tells us the real life cast members did answer all of the 468 questions available in singleplayer. Multiplayer mode features additional questions, and the ability to play synchronously with friends, friends or friends, or other players currently online in the game. There’s also asynchronously play with the “date offline” mode. In total there are 678 questions in The Flirt Game. [Link]

I don’t know about you, but this seems sadly half-baked. All you do is join, spread MTV’s Facebook virus around, “play dress up” (don’t get me started), and then…?

Is “MTV” short for “Underpants Gnomes”?

It’s here!!! Apple-approved and ready! Get the Total Flirt app for iPhone now in the Apple iTunes store for $0.99.

If you’re on Android we’re excited to announce that we will be releasing Total Flirt Android within the next week! This is my first app, and I’m thrilled to see it come to life. Special thanks go to developer Kosso and my lovely and brilliant PA Juliette Stray for making it happen, and not giving up when we had daunting technical issues.

Watch this short video and find out what the Total Flirt app is all about:

The Total Flirt app is based on my book Total Flirt. It’s formulated from years of research, studies on flirting and British “pulling,” and real-life infiltration of male and female pick-up artist societies. The app is an in-the-moment decision maker that distills all the tried and tested methods researchers and pick-up artists use to flirt with success.

More information about the app is after the break!

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In March I got to give a huge presentation (600 chairs) on the main stage at music, film and technology conference SxSW 2011. It was called Sexual Survival for Geeks, and the talk was covered by NPR, CNN and other outlets – a success! Above, you can click through my slides.

Naturally, the talk had to include lots of tips on flirting and seducing geeks and nerds of all kinds, what to do when the flirting goes well (or not!) and plenty of advice on the practicalities of flirting and hooking up at a conference/festival. It was perfectly timed, as Total Flirt (the book) had just come out.

It went great! As bonus material for the talk I worked with erotica author Alison Tyler to create fun and flirty SxSW-themed erotica, and I wrote and podcast an entire tutorial on how to flirt with geeks. The flirting cheat sheet is aimed at geeks – people who are shy or ordinarily a bit (or a lot) socially awkward.

You can see all of the talk materials here on the SxSexy page, including both text and audio for How To Flirt With Geeks.

I was delighted to see that sex ed site for young men Hooking Up And Staying Hooked did a feature on the tutorial and tips, Flirting Tips For Geeks From Violet Blue. It’s a great site; highly recommended.

I had no idea this would happen, I found out from my sweetie who was clicking around tonight and said, “hey, did you know…!” My newest book Total Flirt is free on Kindle right now! I’ve been informed that it is also temporarily free on Apple and for the Barnes and Noble Nook! Get it! It won’t be free for long (I’m sure). This little book is much loved – it got its first translation within a month of release!

Enjoy! I adore you, dear readers! I know I don’t get anything from the free downloads except to share my work with you, and that makes me soooo happy all on its own.
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I’m so excited and surprised about this I’m almost not sure what to say – I never expected to make a video that might be considered in the same class as, you know, real videos.

I decided to try and do my very best in making the trailer for my newest book Total Flirt – which is still limited by constraints of zero budget, no production support from anyone, my amateur editing skills and lack of access to proper equipment such as use of point-and-shoot cameras, no microphones, editing it on my laptop, etc.

It’s a big, exciting thing to have the Total Flirt trailer invited and accepted into the International Movie Trailer Festival.

* All that said: please vote for my trailer (search for Violet Blue or Total Flirt).

* You can also view it on Open Film, where I was stoked to see it passed their review process for inclusion. Yay!

In other great Total Flirt news: I’m thrilled to say that this week my book inked its first translation deal! Within less that a month of its release, Total Flirt is going to be translated into Polish!

In researching and writing Total Flirt, I did extensive investigation into so-called “secret societies” of pick-up artists – both male and female, though it’s a male-dominated space. Not only did I study and research but I also infiltrated and interviewed many people who practice this lifestyle, as well as those who have been on the other end of this world – the targets.

I put the useful findings in the book for all to see, learn about, read and use – in whatever ways they feel comfortable, whether it’s to snag a hottie, detect when dirty tricks are being played on you, or to play them on someone as you dictate the ethics of your flirting exchange. It’s an empowering use, for sure.

I was over on Rabbit Write’s website – she of the famous No Make-Up Week – and saw her fabulous post, I Made Out With A Dude From The Pick-Up Artist Then Interviewed Him.

I agreed with many of the conclusions, and it’s fascinating to see one of these guys just say it like it is – explaining the tricks and calling out the jerks. Snip:

(…) “Pick-up artists” are clans of straight men who use techniques like wearing furry hats or studying psychological cues to seduce women. “The Pick-Up Artist” was a show on VH1, hosted by PUA “guru” Mystery, who trained “inept nerds” to become pick-up artists. Here, Dylan tells us all about being on the show, how the hell he got there and what his inside look at PUA taught him.

(…) Does pick-up work?

Why pick up works is that a lot of women seem to have a hard time turning a guy down, or saying they don’t want to give their number out, as if they owe it to his feelings, or want to spare him the embarrassment.

So what is your take on art of pick-up, after getting this window into the world?

They say that you’re just trying to give these ladies “a really fun night”. They have so many weird justifications for why you as a dude have the right to completely interrupt and insert yourself into a woman’ s night. They’ve created process in which a dude breaks down a woman’s sense of self worth by preying on her insecurities while simultaneously lying or inflating the truth to heighten his own “value”. (…read more, rabbitwrite.com)

Image via.

This is a racy little item about flirting from UK airline industry flight outlet SkyScanner. According to their new survey of 1,000 passengers, nearly half say they flirt while flying – and nearly all claimed to have joined the “mile high club” with 20% of those doing so with someone they’d just met on the flight.

When you think about this in terms of Total Flirt‘s SIS Test (measuring flirt success with the factors of Sociability, Icebreakers and Shared interests – as explained in the book) it makes perfect sense. While sizing up a flight with the SIS Test shows significant drawbacks to flirt success, if you’re in proximity to a hottie then you’ve got enough ingredients to make the time on a flight, well, fly by with a harmless en-route flirt session.

Here’s an excerpt from Planes are the new hotspot for a romantic liaison:

45% of passengers admit to flirting whilst flying, whilst 95% want to join the mile high club

Skyscanner survey reveals new “flyrting” trend as almost half of all passengers admit to flirting at 40,000 ft.

The aviation industry has long used the frisson of flirtation to sell flights, beginning with strict ‘glamour’ criteria for cabin crew on the first commercial flights and continuing through to recent sexy advertising campaigns from airlines such as Virgin. Now a survey from flights comparison site Skyscanner has revealed our romantic associations with flying are still going strong with the trend for “flyrting” – the practice of passengers flirting whilst flying.

The survey of over 1,000 travellers revealed that 45% of passengers admitted to flirting whilst on board a flight, with a third leading to a rendezvous following the flight, and 8% of them resulting in a relationship. (…read more, skyscanner.net)

Image from Ellen Von Unwerth’s Airport Suits.

Wow, we didn’t think the Kindle edition of Total Flirt would be out for another two weeks, but Amazon was on it like a bee to honey! Even more fantastic, they selected it as one of the books where they offer a first free sample chapter (they do this for select books, so I’m thrilled).

Here is the first chapter, for free (!) in Amazon’s web-based Kindle reader. Click to expand it fullscreen and change the font sizes to your preference.
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A rare video without my glasses! Read more about Total Flirt; buy Total Flirt on Amazon. Enjoy!

Delightful, de-lovely, and a little bit devious: Total Flirt is now on sale! I was ecstatic to see copies of the book arrive when I did a reading in legendary San Francisco bookstore The Booksmith last Friday night. Over the weekend, the Amazon fairies stocked their virtual shelves… And reviews are coming in like lightning. When I was in the bookstore, people were already buying Total Flirt and asking me to sign it – one woman bought a copy for her two teenage sons, telling me she thinks they will need to know what girls will be up to. We both were giggling when I signed it, “Good luck, guys!”

The special bonus material is waiting in the VIP lounge so if you’ve already bought the book: treat yourself to supervixen secrets of seduction and flirty-naughty short stories by erotic lit writing stars Alison Tyler and Sommer Marsden – stories that cleverly incorporate tips and tricks from the book.

The book trailer (video) is minutes away from upload, and the Kindle edition is coming as soon as Amazon has it ready!