Insight: A Girl “Target” Interviews A Pick-Up Artist

A pick-up artist goes downIn researching and writing Total Flirt, I did extensive investigation into so-called “secret societies” of pick-up artists – both male and female, though it’s a male-dominated space. Not only did I study and research but I also infiltrated and interviewed many people who practice this lifestyle, as well as those who have been on the other end of this world – the targets.

I put the useful findings in the book for all to see, learn about, read and use – in whatever ways they feel comfortable, whether it’s to snag a hottie, detect when dirty tricks are being played on you, or to play them on someone as you dictate the ethics of your flirting exchange. It’s an empowering use, for sure.

I was over on Rabbit Write’s website – she of the famous No Make-Up Week – and saw her fabulous post, I Made Out With A Dude From The Pick-Up Artist Then Interviewed Him.

I agreed with many of the conclusions, and it’s fascinating to see one of these guys just say it like it is – explaining the tricks and calling out the jerks. Snip:

(…) “Pick-up artists” are clans of straight men who use techniques like wearing furry hats or studying psychological cues to seduce women. “The Pick-Up Artist” was a show on VH1, hosted by PUA “guru” Mystery, who trained “inept nerds” to become pick-up artists. Here, Dylan tells us all about being on the show, how the hell he got there and what his inside look at PUA taught him.

(…) Does pick-up work?

Why pick up works is that a lot of women seem to have a hard time turning a guy down, or saying they don’t want to give their number out, as if they owe it to his feelings, or want to spare him the embarrassment.

So what is your take on art of pick-up, after getting this window into the world?

They say that you’re just trying to give these ladies “a really fun night”. They have so many weird justifications for why you as a dude have the right to completely interrupt and insert yourself into a woman’ s night. They’ve created process in which a dude breaks down a woman’s sense of self worth by preying on her insecurities while simultaneously lying or inflating the truth to heighten his own “value”. (…read more,

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About Violet Blue

Total Flirt author Violet Blue is a Forbes Web Celeb, SF Appeal contributor, ZDNet/CBSi sex and tech columnist, a high-profile tech personality and one of Wired's Faces of Innovation. She is regarded as the foremost expert in the field of sex and technology, a sex-positive pundit in mainstream media (MacLife,, The Oprah Winfrey Show, etc.) and is regularly interviewed, quoted and featured prominently by major media outlets (from ABC News and CNN to the Wall Street Journal). A published feature writer and columnist since 1998, Violet also has many award-winning, best selling books; her books are featured on Oprah's website. She was the notorious sex columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle. She headlines at conferences ranging from ETech, LeWeb and SXSW: Interactive, to Google Tech Talks at Google, Inc. The London Times named Blue one of the 40 bloggers who really count (2010). Violet Blue is in no way associated with the unauthorized use of her name (or likeness) and registered trademark in pornographic films.
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One Response to Insight: A Girl “Target” Interviews A Pick-Up Artist

  1. Reading these books and blogs and finding out more about human nature is fascinating. Being enough of a sucker to actually fall for one of these guys…not so much. Beware: knowing about it doesn’t make you immune. If it starts out as an exercise in how far can I push you it’s not going to end well.

    Honestly disclosing your techniques can be quite disarming. All the lies you tell after that will seem very true. As long as you leave your heart at home it’s a fun game but I’ve learned never to leave home without it. You’ll have to go home eventually! And there it will be, waiting for you, right where you left it.

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